trusting Jesus.

Sunday in church Pastor Brian shared a verse that I have read a million times but for some reason really spoke deeply to my recently distressed spirit.
The last week or so I have been struggling with frustration and have been severely discouraged realizing that no matter what I do or where I go there will always be different denominations & doctrinal views & people deceived into thinking they are saved & people who don't see a need for salvation; there will always be doubt & deceit & distension & I got very upset.
And I'm not a fool(plus a good friend warned me)- I'll probably be shocked when I finally get to the Honor Academy, and it won't be exactly what I have been hoping for- I'll probably still encounter a lack of zeal and a lack of a sense of urgency and a need for the true Gospel of repentance.
After processing all of these concerns my usually logical and reasonable mind was overwhelmed with a feeling of purposelessness. And I have always struggled with the purpose and point of life. After getting saved I found a drive, so to come back to this pit hopelessness always upsets me more than anything.
Which brings me back to the verse from Sunday:
Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on you own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."

I don't understand how God will use me, or to what extent. And as much as that causes me fear and, ultimately, a sense of hopelessness, I know that I just need to keep doing everything God has called me to do; keep obeying Him and keep loving and serving Him, and just trust His promises for an abundant life. In that verse overly recited verse I found comfort this week :)

That's all for tonight.
P.S. Boston! Good Bible study Monday night, don't be surprised if an idea discussed or taught on in that study gets referenced to at some point in one of my future blogs!